Text 23 Feb 7 notes Thinking About Baby #2

Ok, the title on this post is misleading. We’re definitely NOT thinking about having another baby anytime soon.

At least the husband isn’t. But I can’t stop myself from thinking about the next baby. How will we get pregnant? Will it happen like everyone else? You know, without needles and thousands of dollars on meds and without lots and lots of prayers? Or will we need to drop a few thousand on a frozen embryo transfer? And if we do, will it even work? Will we transfer just one again? If we transfer two will we have twins. And then what? Holy shit…TWINS!

I still haven’t gotten my period. I know that’s fine because I’m still breastfeeding, but still. I worry. It’s funny, I’ve been to the doctor twice since baby girl was born and they always ask when my last menstrual period was. And I have NO CLUE. Seriously. I think the last time I had it was in December 2010?

All of which automatically has me thinking that something’s wrong again. Like, here we go again, I’m not dropping eggs or I am and they can’t be fertilized or whatever. I keep looking for signs of ovulation and when I see them I instantly want to grab the husband and try and make a baby just to … see. To see if my body’s still broken or if it can finally work naturally.

I just want to know.

But we’re not ready for baby #2. Not yet. And I don’t want to rush it but in a way, I do. I want baby #2 now because I’m scared. I’m scared to death we’ll never be able to have another in spite of the 6 embabies we have frozen. In spite of all those stories everyone tells you about a friend of a friend of a friend who went through IVF only to get pregnant naturally 5 months post-partum.

Will we be so lucky? I don’t know. And it scares me.

I’m so unbelievable grateful for baby girl. Am I being selfish worrying about baby #2?

  1. myaccidentallyonpurpose said: i think its perfectly normal to be feeling all these emotions, and the sad fact is you wont know until you start trying again. you will have a better idea when you are done breastfeeding unless your period comes before then
  2. nineyearsandcounting said: We talk about it all the time. Do we just see what happens? Do we intervene if things don’t work again? Is one enough?
  3. katunedited said: I don’t think it’s selfish but natural to be thinking the things you’re thinking. Did you ever get on the mini-pill or did you scrap that idea? When I got on it (and I’m still on it), I bled on and off. Now it’s just sporadic.
  4. tabithamsnyder said: I think of this all the time, even more so since getting the frozen storage bill for 2012. The only difference is I have been excited and mentalltly ready for baby #2 since Skyla was 5 days old! ;)
  5. mysocalledttclife posted this

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