I seriously love you Sabine. You took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. Actually, you probably said it better…
Here’s the thing about “the” Time cover: It’s not the exposed breastfeeding that irks me — I like that they have a woman breastfeeding on the cover. I think breastfeeding is great and should be out there and not something that shames the mother or child. It’s not the picture: It’s the headline.
It’s the implication that mothers who practise attachment parenting are more mom than those who don’t. And it’s not just breastfeeding or attachment parenting — It’s everything. It’s going through gossip magazines and reading features like “Stars with Maxi Mommy Style” and “Best Bodies after Baby”. It is no longer enough that we are bearing children and raising them to be self-sufficient, responsible and respecting adults. We have to by stylish while we’re at it! We have to provide all-organic snacks to the darlings! Provide toys that have educational structure! Enroll the darlings in Mandarin- or Spanish-language daycares! Sugar-free and nut-free and gluten-free cakes because we can’t exclude anyone from a hand-crafted themed birthday party! And we can’t eat any of those cakes because how dare we still not be back to our pre-baby weight! It only took Jessica Alba 10 weeks* to prance around in a bikini after having her second!
It’s a women’s only keeping-up-with-the-Joneses rat race that makes motherhood overwhelming.
I don’t really buy organic foods. I let Luisa snack on cookies. I’ve never bought a toy for it’s educational value. I did have gluten-free brownies at her birthday party but really, it was because that brownie recipe makes wonderfully chewy, chocoaltely brownies. I didn’t diet or swear to run a half-marathon to lose the baby weight by 10 weeks after baby. I was back to shape after having Luisa, but my body will never be the same.
It’s ok because motherhood changes us emotionally and mentally and physically is just part of that package.
It’s ok because Luisa is happy, healthy, thriving, and loving. She’s smart, she’s playful and fun. All of those things that might not make me “mom enough” don’t matter because of that.
And I’m mom enough to accept that. You should too.
So, Happy Mother’s Day! You’re doing a great job.
*Jessica Alba sucks. That woman went on a 1200-calorie-a-day diet and worked out one to three hours a day for five days a week. That’s crazy.
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- jss said: I heart you. And I fucking hate Jessica Alba. Thanks for putting it all so eloquently.
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- byronic said: Also, that kid is three years old. Isn’t that a bit old for breastfeeding? (I genuinely don’t know, but I find it a bit disturbing in that sense.)
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